


Someone At Cyberlife Deserves A Raise

by WeabooCreature



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, if the formatting is garbage its because i did it all on my phone, laughs idk how to tag, reader is overly curious about stuff, sharp teeth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-29
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-12-26 03:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18275096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeabooCreature/pseuds/WeabooCreature
Summary: “Did you eat it?” You asked incredulously.“Were we not supposed to?” You nearly snapped your neck to look at Nines who only had the opening piece of the coke can in hand before popping it into his mouth like it was a Tic-Tac.You and Hank nearly screamed. Scratch that- You did scream, Hank let out a flurry or rushed cursed words and wheezing laughs mixed in with some of him banging his fist down onto his desk.“CONRAD NINES ANDERSON WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!!”





	Someone At Cyberlife Deserves A Raise

It made no sense, you thought to yourself. It really didn’t! As far as you’re aware whether it be combat wise or even just chewing something, androids did not need to have sharp fucking teeth.

There’s just no reason for the weird aesthetic and yet all androids have them and it seemed to be exceptionally clear in the RK models at the precinct. You couldn’t remember a single time that their sharp teeth had use other than when the androids would lose themselves briefly during an interrogation and barred their teeth at a suspect. Yeah it was hot momentarily but????

It had to have been from some bored Cyberlife employee who was helping with the design for them. How have you not seen any articles online about it actually? You would think that the strange addition would hurt the company since they had wanted all androids to blend in with the regular day to day and yet there was nothing. The only actual things over them was from satisfied customers from places like the Eden Club who love that their Traci model came with varying types of teeth - something that they didn’t know they wanted until it happened.

You leaned back in your chair as you watched Connor and Conrad talk to each other about a case or something but all you were focused on was their goddamn teeth.

They looked so dignified with their inhumanly straight posture and well pressed shirts but their teeth seemed to give them a certain kind of dangerous edge that they might not have had otherwise. The most obvious culprit other than the employee idea was Kamski. It wouldn’t surprise you if the teeth was his idea in the first place. He was a Gen Z kid after all and grew up in the magical creature fucker era just like you did.

“Stop ogling our partners.” And then here’s the generation that isn’t totally on board with the creature fuck but reluctantly supports it. You narrowed your eyes at Hank and he did the same right back at you.

You let out a defeated sigh and dramatically waved your hand in their direction though thankfully they didn’t pay attention to you. “I have a very valid reason to be staring at them.”

He scoffed. “And what reason would that be.”

Before you could explain you sent him A Look and waved them over to the two of you. The androids perked up, Connor offering you a smile while Conrad gave you an unimpressed stare.

“Can you guys do me a favor real quick?” You asked. “It’s completely harmless I swear.”

Conrad arched a brow, his hands folded neatly in front of his chest as he looked down at you. You could feel the judgement radiating off of his perfect body. “For what reason?”

“For the sake of my curiosity. Please. We all know I’ll do whatever I can to not be curious over whatever I happen to be thinking about.”

Hank let out a very loud groan that you pointedly ignored. He of all people was just a curious as you were about their teeth and has no right to groan just because you were finally going to bring it up. In your own way, of course.

“They did say it would be harmless.” Connor piped in with that subtly cheery voice of his. Ah, what a sweetheart. Deviancy was doing him good. 

Conrad spared a glance to Hank as if the lazy lug would help him in this situation. Hank merely shrugged in response. You grinned. “No one can help you now, Nines. It’s three against one.”

His eye twitched. “Stop switching between my names. It’s unnecessary. Just pick one.”

“Nah I like using both,” You clapped your hands together for effect as your grin grew. “Now, I need the two of you to say ‘ah’ for at least ten seconds.”

Their LEDs went yellow.

“Why.”

“You’re strangest request by far, detective.”

“Why the fuck would you want them to do that.”

Their responses sent you into a laughing fit that nearly had your chair falling back onto the ground. Connor was confused yet intrigued, Conrad was irritated, and Hank was fuming with even more confusion.

“Is- Is this about that dumb thing you mentioned a while back?” You nodded. Hank dragged his hands down his face. “For Gods sake- It’s a fucking aesthetic choice! There’s no deeper meaning to it you horny mess!!”

You couldn’t bring yourself to be embarrassed over his word choice. Being called a horny mess by him didn’t even crack the top worst things he’s called you.

“I’m valid leave me alone!” Conrad cleared his throat to grab your attention.

His arms were still crossed, grey eyes as icy as ever but clearly just wanting to get his over with. Even though he was deviant there was still some machine left that refused to let go. Your silly questions for him and his pseudo brother were mainly to bring out his humanity and make him not as stiff. If you had asked him the same thing months ago you’re sure you would have gotten a cold look from him before him saying something like, ‘that is a juvenile thing to ask grow up and get that stack of paperwork done before I throw you out the window’. You’re paraphrasing the imaginary conversation of course but the thought is still there.

Connor has made great strides in integrating with humans so far. It made you feel like a proud older sibling to see him grow out of his awkward phase. Now all you had to do was get Conrad to become more comfortable in his newfound freedom in deviancy.

“If we fulfill your request will you tell us why you have been staring at us nearly every single time we talk?”

Oh shit. They did catch on. Man, you really are a horny mess.

Connor stifled a laugh at your reaction. “I too have been curious as to why you find our mouths so fascinating. I’ve also noticed that it seems to be only with androids and never with humans. Will this help us to find out why that is?”

“Yes to both of your questions.” Might as well tell the truth now that the cats out of the bag. No idea why you thought you could keep your staring a secret when the both of them are top of the line detectives. “I want to see your teeth. Say ‘ah’ for me please.”

Connor was more than happy to go first with a still confused smile on his face. You stood up and gently smacked Hank’s arm for him to do the same. The man grunted but did so all the same, looked extremely bored as he waited for Connor. 

The android did as he was told and opened his mouth, showing off his pearly whites that easily looked like it could rip out your throat.

Well.

That was an extreme but come no humans teeth was actually that sharp!

“Shit. You were right.” Hank mumbled, leaning down a bit to see better.

You grinned. “I told you! Isn’t that wild? Why would someone at Cyberlife do this? I can’t find a single real reason why their teeth is that sharp. Like, look at the canines. That’s way sharper than ours.”

Conrad scoffed, eyebrows furrowed as he watched the ridiculous scene. “You could have simply asked us as to why we have that feature instead of having us do this before hand. You have plenty of opportunities.”

“Oh lighten up, Nines. This is fun and you’re too much of a weenie to admit it.” You said dismissively, still fixed on Connor before giving him a thumbs up to stop.

Connor still had the confused yet willing to help expression on his face. It took you every ounce of your will to not smoosh this cheeks together and kiss his forehead. “Thank you for indulging me, Connor. It really means a lot.”

He smiled brightly at you, a faint blue tint on his cheeks. “It was nothing.”

With a clap of your hands you turned to face Conrad. He flinched and took a slight step back, blinking at you and seemingly looking for an out.

“I’m not gonna stick my fingers in your mouth if that’s what you’re afraid of,” You teased. “Unless you want me to. Are you into that? You seem like the kind of guy who’d be into that.”

“Can you stop talking for one second?” Hank was trying to sound annoyed but all three of you knew that he was just as amused about this as you were.

“Yes, please stop talking, detective.” A smirk tugged at the edge of Conrad’s lips, leaning down as if to you demean you but jokes on him. You already know how dumb this is and have fully accepted that fact.

“Open your mouth and let me see those chompers.” You smirked right back at him, waiting expectantly for him to do it. He held your gaze for a few seconds before letting out a defeated sigh, shoulders slumping slightly as he slowly opened his mouth.

You gasped when you saw his teeth. “Hank. _Hank holy shit._ ” You smacked at Hanks arms to get him to look, never taking your eyes away from the prize.

He stopped your hand from hitting him as he went by your side, eyes widening a bit at what he saw. “Well, you were right. Again.”

This made Conrad shut his mouth and glare down at you. “Right about what.”

“I had this theory that since, y'know, everything about you is supposedly supposed to be better than Connor that your teeth would be sharper and more defined. Turns out I was right.”

While his teeth definitely weren't sharp enough to cut your finger, you could imagine that if he was to bite something with all his force that it would leave a sizable debt and puncture it. Thoughts flooded your mind at the countless ways that could translate into something much more intimate and you briefly imagined him leaving hickies and bite marks all over your body.

You only snapped out of your daydreaming when Hank nudged you, nodding his head over to the boys who looked at you with curious eyes. Two androids. Two people who could tag team you in bed with their own unique bite marks. A blush steadily found its way over your face.

Your laugh came out much more forced than you wanted. Anything to get rid of the sexual thoughts about them. “One more test? Please? This is the last thing I'll ever ask of you two.”

“I highly doubt that.” Leave it to Conrad to be brutally honest.

Your ignored him and grabbed something from your desk for the both of them. Two empty soda cans that you have yet to throw away from working countless late night shifts. Connor was the first to voice his displease to no one's surprise while Conrad simply scoffed and shook his head.

“The damage is already done, Connor. And Nines stop acting like an annoyed teenage girl.” You handed them both the cans and bounced on your feet, biting back the grin that threatened to show.

This was extremely self indulgent with not real reason for it but you couldn't help yourself. You wanted to see just how long it would take for them to bite through the metal for your own sake of mind. Maybe one day you could have them bite plato or something to get a real grasp on how deep they could go but for now this was good enough.

“I need you two to bite into the soda cans as hard as you possibly can. For science.” You winked playfully at the both of them, heart fluttering when you saw shades of blue bloom on their freckled faces.

Conrad was inspecting the can for a few seconds before finally biting into it. Not even a second later there was a soft audible ‘pop’ that echoed inside the tin can.

Connor watched curiously and you motioned for him to do the same. It was dumb to get excited over something this small and silly but you couldn’t help yourself. It was like watching a golden retriever and doberman test out new toys.

_‘Don’t think about pet play don’t think about pet play whatever you do please don’t think about them acting as service tops don’t you d a re’_

“This is a stupid way to see if your kinky fantasies are true.” Hank remarked but thankfully was a good enough friend to not say it loud enough for them to hear.

You shrieked and quickly covered his mouth before he could say anything else that would make you die on the spot. “Shut! Up! Don't try to act like it never crossed your mind when you see other androids!”

His comment defiantly wasn’t helping your current dirty mindedness one bit and he just kept going only for you to drown it out by pushing your hand harder onto his mouth.

Before Hank could reply there was a loud crunching noise.

“Oh!” Connor pulled the can away with a bashful smile. “I think I bit the can too hard.”

That was the understatement of the year. Half of the can was gone, there was teeth mark outlines that you can clearly tell where watch teeth was, and you don't know where the bitten.

You narrowed your eyes at him. There’s just no way he took out that big of a chunk with just his teeth. There’s just no way. You held your hand open to him. “Give it.”

He laughed nervously, straightening out his tie and avoided looking back at you. Oh no did he actually- “It's gone.”

“Open up.” You demanded, yanking him down by his dumb tie and patting his cheek multiple times for him to open his mouth again. He glanced over to Hank who apparently didn't react if Connors defeated expression meant anything.

You waited for him to do it and you scrunch your nose up. The want to stick your hand in his mouth to actually search for the dumb metal almost beat out your logical side but you made do with just looking. It really was gone. What the hell did he do with it?

“Did you eat it?” You asked incredulously.

“Were we not supposed to?” You nearly snapped you neck to Nines who only had the opening piece of the coke can in hand before popping it into his mouth like it was a Tic-Tac.

You and Hank nearly screamed. Scratch that- You did scream, Hank let out a flurry or rushed cursed words and wheezing laughs mixed in with some of him banging his fist down onto his desk.

**“CONRAD NINES ANDERSON WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!!”**

Nearly the entire DPD turned to look at why you were screaming your head off but that didn’t stop you from pacing around him. He did not just eat that entire can. Androids can’t eat! Where would it even go?? Was it going to stay inside of him until the thirium in his body decomposes it???

He simply shrugged, smirking ever so slightly. The little shit absolutely knew that that isn't what you're supposed to do with soda cans and yet he did it anyways. What a fucking show off.

“You always tell me to act more human. Eating food for sustenance is the most human thing, even more so when it is something you are normally not supposed to eat.” Conrad explain, the self satisfied smirk not fading. If anything it looked like it was getting wider the more you looked at him.

You threw your hands up and indistinguishable mouth garbage filled the air as you tried to make sense of the whole situation. How did it get from wanting to see their monster teeth to learning that they can apparently eat metal?

“Thank you for the snack, detective.” Connor said, smiling your way once more with a small tilt of his head. It almost made you feel better until he took apart the can like it was nothing before eating a slip of the metal like it was a fry. “Were it not for you we would have never discovered that a soda can is actually rather delicious.”

“Wha-”

“Should we experiment with other types of metals?” Conrad chimed in. “I have seen old articles over ‘flip phones’ that may be of use that includes all its inner components. Perhaps we could find one of those then branch off from there into other objects.”

Connor nodded. “It's a good starting point.”

The pair said their goodbyes, leaving you and Hank to try and understand what the hell just happened.

“Always something new around here.” He grumbled, slumping down onto his chair. The interaction must have taken away years from his life.

You nodded slowly, reaching for you phone to search in Amazon for cheap flip phones.

‘Two new messages’

Huh.

_‘From: Connor_

__

__

_Please feel free to use me for any experiments that you may have in mind in the future. This was a fun learning opportunity :D’_

What a way to phrase that Connor. You smile in spite of yourself as you reread the message over and over again. He had to know what that could be taken as. He's an advanced android that could reconstruct crime scenes with three or so good evidence pieces to see exactly what had happened. Surely he knew that it sounded like he was a total bottom. Right? 

The next message was from Nines and you dreaded opening it.

_‘From: Nines_

_The next time you want to test out one of your little ‘theories’, perhaps it might be easier if you were to simply ask me in private instead of somewhere in public, let alone our workplace.’_

You leaned back in the chair to try and unpack everything that his message may imply. Was Cyberlife going to get you laid? Is that what's going to happen? It took everything in your body to not burst out into tears as you handed your phone over to Hank, shoulders shaking ass the while and covering your mouth to not sound like a dying dolphin anymore.

Thankfully Hank didn't make as big of a scene as you did but it was clear that he was having a hard time holding in his own laughter. "You sneaky little bug," He finally managed out, handing your phone back. "How the hell did your annoying self land two maybe dates with them?"

"I'm not complaining. This was the endgame goal all along and I am not going to question it." A few snorts escaped before the two of you finally went back to work. You worked up the nerve to look over to where the androids were sitting at. A shiver ran up your spine and to your heart when you saw the pair smiling at you with their teeth in full display.

Connors' was a bit more softer around the edges but his warm brown eyes held mischief that you didn't even know was possible. The little shit totally understood what his text could have been taken as. Conrad looked just as devious is not more. His blue-grey eyes were half lidded as he held eye contact with you and flashed his teeth at you a bit more, making sure you got full view of them before waving and swiping his tongue over his lips.

Your back straighten out when their gazes wouldn't leave your figure and hummed softly to try to distract yourself and not casually put yourself in compromising positions just for the hell of it. Well, at least things around the precinct would be even more interesting than it normally was.

**Author's Note:**

> first dbh fic so if they seem out of character,,, its probably because they are lmao. this spawned out of my 3am thoughts and my love of fangs along with hitsome and masotan where the dragons eat flip phones. yes, im aware that my oral fixation kink is showing pls dont @ me


End file.
